NSE2018 Jessica Larkins

Dear reader,

I thought I officially became an adult the moment I moved out of my parents’ house and stepped into my dorm room freshman year of college.

When I was younger, I was always the kid who wanted to grow up too fast. I was way too cool for middle school, and then I was way too mature to be stuck in high school. I couldn’t wait to finally be an adult and go to college.

My idea of becoming an adult was being able to go to bed any time I wanted and eating all the junk food I wanted.

Now that I could spend my time how I wanted, surely that meant I was an adult. It was the freedom that made me grown-up. It was the maturity that came along with living on my own for the first time that qualified me. But more than anything, the conscious decision I made every time I cooked my own meal instead of eating out was what made me a “real” adult.

Then I turned 21, and thought that if I had any doubts before about how mature I was, they should be gone now.

As I prepare to graduate in May with my first full-time job, I can’t believe how wrong I was about “adulthood.”

In no way do I consider myself to be an “adult” anymore, and for the first time in my life, I don’t really wish for that part of my life to come faster.

Insurance, 401Ks and benefit packages are what I’m worried about now. I long for the day when the biggest thing I was worried about was what I’d be doing on the weekend. Now, even though my parents warned me this would happen when I got a full-time job, I’m dreading the day they kick me off their phone plan.

College went by way too fast, and I’m going to miss it more than I ever thought I would.

I’m anxious and excited for the next chapter in my life, but I wish I wouldn’t have hoped for time to go faster. Now, more than anything, all I want is for it to stand still. I want to go back in time and shake the old me for wishing it away.

I’ll continue to savor these last few months of “I-think-I’m-an-adult-now-hood” until adulthood really hits me.

It’s almost time for me to say goodbye to “dear old Nebraska U,” but I’m not quite finished growing up yet.


Jessica Larkins