I want sex so good I can't walk.
I want to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, pull Excalibur from the Stone, do the Sunday New York Times crossword in pen - obtain the Holy Grail of female sex: have a G-spot orgasm.
Those somewhat mythical, elusive orgasms define the pinnacle of great sex and are far less fictitious than you might believe. The G-spot orgasm comes from pleasuring a "a small spongy pad that wraps around the urethra" one and a half to two inches up in the vagina, according to sex guru Sue Johanson's Web site.
G-spot orgasms differentiate themselves from clitoral ones by their intensity, occurrence, difficulty to achieve and of course, liquid release. A true G-spot orgasm releases fluid through the urethra (not urine!) anywhere from one cup to two quarts, according to Johanson.
For many women, including myself, the image of releasing half a gallon of liquid that "smells like clovers," according to Johanson, initially makes the idea of a G-spot orgasm seem less desirous and more disgusting. Women who have had them describe the sensations beforehand as feeling a need to urinate and to "bear down," similar to when pushing in labor. That sounds more like something to work on rather than a time to get off.
These reactions - women thinking that our bodies' abilities and capabilities are gross instead of glorious - are problematic and symptomatic of a society that devalues women's sexual pleasure.
When we learn what G-spot orgasms entail, the idea fails in our heads, and we turn and run from heightened possibilities of ecstasy. Rather, based on the statistics, we continue to live less than adequate sex lives, with more than 12 percent of us never reaching orgasm, according to the BBC Web site.
BBC reports that 75 percent of women do not climax during intercourse and 12 percent of women never "reach climax." For the 25 percent of women who do climax during intercourse, it is not specified how many of those are through G-spot versus vaginal and clitoral stimulation. These numbers reveal a larger picture of societal neglect of female sexuality when put in the context that anatomically every woman is capable of orgasm and debatably G-spot orgasms, except in cases of congenital abnormalities or extreme nerve damage, as Johanson says.
On the flip side, an ABC News sex survey suggests that 74 percent of men always have an orgasm during sex. If both sexes are equally capable of achieving orgasm, how do we account for the discrepancy in these numbers?
A summer 2008 discussion of the Hite Report on Female Sexuality, as discussed in On the Issues magazine reports that women tend to have no problems reaching orgasm through masturbation - most of the time without penetration.
"The report shows that women do not have a problem reaching orgasm, but rather that society does have a problem in accepting how women reach orgasm," article author Shere Hite says. "Society insists that women try to have orgasm during intercourse or coitus, even though this is not the easiest way for them to reach orgasm."
By mandating vaginal orgasms from women, society relegates the responsibility for female climax and pleasure to the woman, instead of forcing sexual partners to be held accountable for pleasing one another. Sexualityeducation.com reports that, on average, it takes women 20 minutes to reach orgasm but only two to five minutes for men. Women are less likely to demand more effort from their partners if they don't realize they need more time and different stimulation.
Furthermore, society conveniently disregards education and access to information on female sexuality - particularly G-spot orgasms. This illustrious, (in)famous shejaculation, in particular, fills the faces of pornographic male - and sometimes female - stars but never shoots its way into the classroom or even typical peer-based sex conversations. Society simultaneously glorifies and vilifies female orgasm and ejaculation, leaving women clueless, scared of and even disgusted by the process.
On the contrary, male ejaculation is glorified - on female faces, stomachs, breasts, backs and any other accessible body part. For a man to spread his seed, share his wealth, shell shock us in the eye with his cum is a sign of masculinity - of prowess, strength and literal shooting power. But for a woman to leave the sheets wet implies a kind of dirtiness and filth that society condemns.
Fortunately, there are programs and sex education advocates that work to debunk societal myths and untruths about female sexuality. One of these programs - The Female O - will educate University of Nebraska-Lincoln students on the ins and outs of female orgasms this Thursday night in the Nebraska Union at 7:00 p.m.
Hopefully sex educators Marshall Miller and Dorian Solot will remind every man and woman that nothing about female sexuality should be viewed as gross or abnormal.
As women, knowing what attaining the mystical G-spot orgasm does to our bodies should excite us more than ever. Releasing a half gallon of liquid may first sound like a drain, but when we rethink our socializations and remind ourselves that male ejaculation has been accepted and even enjoyed for as long as humankind has existed, it seems normal and enjoyable.
The women who have had G-spot orgasms describe them as the best sex possible - that the orgasms are so powerful they can barely walk to the bathroom afterwards.
I've had a fair amount of decent sex, I've had a smaller amount of good sex and I've had a minute amount of great sex. But I've never had sex so good I can't walk.
And that is the kind of sex we deserve.
Cyndi Waite is a senior English and film studies major. You can reach her at opinion@dailynebraskan.com.
