SANFORD: Gender stereotypical words should die slowly, painfully

I want “patriarchy” removed from the dictionary.  Along with “misogynist” and “androcentric.”

Words are often removed from the dictionary, especially the abridged dictionaries most people utilize. In the Oxford English Dictionary, the dictionary of dictionaries, these words earn the tiny abbreviation “Obs.” for obsolete.

Language is a reflection of culture. I want these words revoked because they reflect an aspect of modern culture that I want to see annihilated: gender inequality.

Watching a single sitcom leaves me shaking my head at the rampant stereotyping. 

How many sitcom families feature housewives? And how many feature house-husbands? 

Have you noticed that all four of the nerds on “The Big Bang Theory” are men? Occasionally, you get a girl nerd thrown into the mix to make things interesting, but they never have a major roll. 

So maybe it is demographically accurate to say that most nerds are men and most stay-at-home spouses are women. But should they be?

Have you noticed that all of the commercials for cleaning products and easy to cook foods feature women doing the cooking and the cleaning? “Great for working moms!” “Joan, are you tired of your old mop and broom?” So maybe the advertisers are targeting their market. 

Have you ever wondered if this is a self-fulfilling prophesy? Little kids soak up television like chain smokers do nicotine. If you’ve been watching thousands of hours depicting women in domestic roles and men in scientific roles, how likely are you to assume that is the way it is supposed to be?  How likely are you to buy into the stereotype?    

On a British television show, two gay men were arguing over which one in the couple was the ‘wife.’ Why is it that being the wife would be a bad thing?  It just goes to show how even when traditional gender roles are devalued, the female label is still seen as negative.

Recently some of my friends told me I was brave for travelling so often completely on my own. I suspect they felt brave was synonymous with stupid.  No one would think my behavior was brave if I was a man, nor would they demand I call them to check in regularly.

A friend of mine who is genderqueer has recently begun binding her chest and going by the name Andy. With her short hair and baggy clothing, she is often mistaken for a man. She told me that she likes the way she is treated when she looks more androgynous. Why should she be treated any differently either way?

Many of the businesses downtown and in the Haymarket have single toilet bathrooms, but they still have two, and mark them “Men” and “Women” despite the fact that they are single person occupancy. Someone will wait for “their” restroom when the other restroom, often with the exact same fixtures, is empty. Do people really care that much about using the same toilet as someone of the opposite gender? 

This week I will begin a design competition that will find me locked in a room with my four other teammates for two weeks straight. They all happen to be men.  The word “misogynist” came up jokingly yesterday. I can take a joke, and this one rolled like water off a duck’s back.

But, I know, deep down, that it is not a joke.  Socially, our culture has a long way to go before words like “misogynist,” “patriarchy” and “androcentric” can be removed from our dictionaries, or at least earn an “Obs.” designation for obsolete.

You see, that’s what I’m aiming for. 

I don’t want them taken out tomorrow. That would be tantamount to book burning, which as a writer, I find abhorrent. 

I want them to die a slow, quiet and totally unremarkable death. I want the day to come when someone is doing historical research and stumbles upon this word without understanding what it means, without even having an inkling of the concept behind it.

I want our society to reach the point where gender, racial, sexual or any other kind of inequality is just as baffling and bizarre to them as witch-hunting is to us.

“Can you believe people back in the 21st century actually thought this?  How crazy is that!”

If we are going to reach that point, we need to start now. I can think of a few ways.

I flaunt my nerdiness by being good with computers, numbers, science and loving science fiction.

I don’t buy products from companies that reinforce gender stereotypes in their advertising.

I absolutely adore men who can cook. 

(I should add the disclaimer that I actually adore anyone, man or woman, who can cook, because I can’t to save my life, but will happily trade laundry for kitchen duty any day.)

I don’t let the fact that I am a single female prevent me from going where I want to go.

I’m not afraid to use the other bathroom if one is already occupied and guys, I won’t get bent out of shape if you do the same.

Even if you leave the seat up.

Sanford is a graduate architecture and community and regional planning student. Reach her at Monicasanford@dailynebraskan.com