SANFORD: Consumerism masks true significance of Christmas

Christmas is like the Borg. "You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."

By Christmas, I don't mean the actual birth of Christ, but rather the frenzy of materialistic traditions that have grown up around this holiday. I'm talking about the overdone decorations, ubiquitous holiday music, obligatory baked goods, station after station of cheesy television specials, falsely cheerful and costumed mall attendants, fake snow, reindeer antlers on dogs and naughty elf lingerie.

Overwhelming is to put it mildly. When the dazzling lights and the "buy, buy, buy" commercials start to get to me, I just feel like holding my head in my hands and wailing, "I didn't sign up for this! It's not MY holiday!"

This wasn't always the case. Christmas was once a foregone conclusion — like birthdays and belly buttons, something everyone has.

Then one day, I wasn't Christian anymore, but ironically, I was still celebrating Christmas. It's a federal holiday, so I still get the day off. My family is Christian, and they tend to expect me to show up, decorate, exchange gifts, eat too much and generally be merry.

That's all well and good, but the longer I stand outside of the Christian tradition of Christmas, the more I see all the other traditions that go with it, and they just seem, well, silly.

I went to church, Sunday school and Christmas Eve service every year, so I've got the inside scoop. I know the story, and it's a good one. I understand what Christmas means, and it's an important lesson. But does anyone really believe Christ would encourage people to nail plastic reindeer to their roofs?

Prominent Christian leaders and scholars have decried the metamorphosis of their most sacred holiday over the years into a consumerist binge (complete with follow up purge in the form of mountainous credit card debt). Americans spend over $400 billion a year, 60 percent rack up their debt and, simultaneously, 78 percent believe Christmas is too materialistic, according to a 2005 study by the Center for a New American Dream.

In the immortal words of Bill Watterson, literary genius of Calvin & Hobbes: "Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food and beer ... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?"

But Christmas is good, right? It's the most sacred, most holy, best message of love, peace, generosity, charity and hope the Christian church has to offer. So anything associated with Christmas, therefore, is naturally good. Right?