MCLEAY: Feud between KU athletic teams awkward, unnecessary

Family feuds are always awkward. Especially when they are not yours and they include college athletes at the University of Kansas. But more on that in a minute. It's like when you were younger and went out to eat with your friend's family for the first time; you think, this is awesome, I get to go out to a real restaurant, I don't have to eat disgusting vegetables, and I get to hang with my buddy. You are never thinking about becoming embroiled in a battle.

But sometimes things can go terribly awry.

These disputes can begin as simple as a puny purple nurple at the dinner table or a subtle swirlie during a bathroom break between siblings. Next thing you know, it is you who is being used for collateral damage in the Chuck E. Cheese ball pit by your friend's older brother.

Then, your friend's dad starts screaming at his wife to stop gabbing on her Bluetooth all the way through the salad bar line. Subsequently, his mother gets so worked up that she tells the group "we are leaving," which means we must hand in our winnings to the cheese banker before our gold tokens are gone. Sigh, that would really put a damper on the evening. Not only can you forget about enjoying enormous animatronic rodents dance on stage, but since you have to cash in your small amount of tickets, you wind up with three Tootsie Rolls and a kazoo as your prizes. And sleepover afterward? No thanks.

OK, now back to KU. I am nervous to travel to Lawrence, Kan., for the football game this weekend because recently, the University of Kansas sports teams have been turning their quad into a battlefield. You may have heard about a clash that erupted last week when the Kansas head football coach, Mark Mangino, benched his starting quarterback, Todd Reesing. After the tiff, both parties made indirect public jabs about one another to local media outlets.

Friction is nothing new to the Kansas campus this semester. Last September, the KU Civil War commenced with a fracas on the steps of the Kansas Union between the Kansas football team and the Kansas basketball team. There were two separate altercations that happened within 24 hours, one of which began with a KU basketball player pushing a football player down a flight of stairs. Then, according to the Daily Kansan, "Players from both teams began throwing punches and shouting racial slurs at each other." Best of all, they were fighting over a girl.

It is painful to see how rock chalking could get so malevolent.

There are plenty of other fish in the Lawrence sea. This modern day Helen of Troy is not worth your time. If she were smart, she wouldn't have been so blatantly pro miscuous. Even the most inexperienced jersey chasers know you don't treat your educational institute like a Baskin-Robbins.

However, this is not all Tara Reid Jr.'s fault either. Where were the coaches and athletic administrators when this brawl began brewing?

Why don't you bill yourself for this bad blood, head Kansas basketball coach, Bill Self? If you weren't always at the store looking for Rogaine, maybe you could have seen this coming.

And where were you, Mangino, on the eve of this vendetta? There is no excuse for your absence in this athlete quarrel – even if it is because you were very busy shooting your film debut as the stunt double for the giant 100-feet-tall Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in the new "Ghostbusters" sequel.

Kansas, I hear your cries for help, but this is getting tacky. You are a university with individuals who run strong sports programs and respect one another, not "The Hills."

These players and coaches need to see a counselor.

I could see if you resided in other parts of Kansas why you would feel the need to rip each other's heads off. For example, in Topeka, I would be waging war living there myself. In that town, it is illegal to drive one's car through a parade. It is also illegal to sing the alphabet on the streets at night, which would be extremely harsh living conditions if you were an educated raccoon or The Count from "Sesame Street."