Lowering the bar

Dear Lance Brown,

We gather you're putting together quite a little scrapbook.

We imagine that in front of your "Cornhusker Glory" clippings from days gone by, you now have a section of "Big Lance in Court" news stories.

It's not quite as glamorous as the good ol' days at Memorial Stadium, but still.

Your idea, which you've referred to as your dream, of a nightclub that would stand above the law hasn't quite worked out.

Quite simply, all you needed to do was put in plush velvet couches, multiple bars and tacky decor, and the girls would come.

We're sure the idea seemed enticing at first: A renovated movie theater. Former Husker sightings all over the place. A dance floor, cheap drinks and a phantom hot tub.

But things kept getting in the way for you, Lance.

Who'd have thought it'd be illegal for minors (particularly ones in short skirts) to drink beer?

Who'd have thought the one time you served alcohol after hours it would be to an undercover cop?

We're not impressed with your club, but we do have to admit it has been fun to watch.

We've all read your marquee at Studio 14 and had a chuckle while driving down O Street.

Whether it's the (unfulfilled) promise that Snoop Dogg would be in the house or your reiterating that "Yes, we can serve alcohol," you never fail to entertain us.

You did have a triumphant day in court Friday. One charge against you - boxing without a license - was dropped.

But was it worth the victory?

The charge was dropped because you revealed the fighting wasn't real - it was staged and choreographed, a la the World Wrestling Federation. Your codefendants weren't Stone Cold Steve Austin or Sting but still mighty good actors in their own right.

But in the land that lives on rumors of hot tubs, Snoop Dogg visits and secret after-hours parties, it would just make sense that ultimate fighting is an illusion, too.

So you won at least one round.

But if you're going to have Lincoln's top pimp pad, it'll take more than just dropping names of former Husker heroes and lots and lots of booze.

And your first step is keeping your club open.

So maybe you should think about following the law for awhile.

We'll admit the Lincoln Police are overzealous in their pursuit of you and your nightclub. But have you stopped to think that maybe you brought it on yourself?

We know there are other bars in Lincoln that serve underage drinkers. But you know as well as anyone else that the police are out to get you.

So don't say stupid things to reporters. Don't promise to have another Fight Night before you've even been cleared of allegations stemming from your last ultimate-fighting excursion.

Oh, and in case we weren't clear before, maybe you should try to follow the law.

It might be a good idea for you to step down as the head honcho of Studio 14.

Your successor, if you choose to have one, does have a rocky road in front of him or her.

But Studio 14's surrogate Lance will have a clear road map of what not to do.

Cheers,

The Daily Nebraskan editorial board

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Editorial Board

Ieva M. Augstums, Margaret Behm, Toberlin Burger, Matthew Hansen, Adam J. Klinker, Michelle Starr and Jill Zeman

Editorial Policy

Unsigned editorials are the opinions of the fall 2001 Daily Nebraskan. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, its employees, its student body or the University of Nebraska Board of Regents. A column is solely the opinion of its author. The Board of Regents acts as publisher of the Daily Nebraskan; policy is set by the Daily Nebraskan Editorial Board. The UNL Publications Board, established by the regents, supervises the publication of the paper. According to policy set by the regents, responsibility for the editorial content of the Daily Nebraskan lies solely in the hands of its student employees. The Daily Nebraskan strives to print fair and accurate coverage; any corrections or clarifications will be printed on page two.