LOOMIS: Cheating isn’t always black and white

He is the one. He is husband material, the yin to your yang, the pea to your pod, the love of your life. That's all I've got for gushy metaphors.

Everything in your relationship is going smoothly, and then a big speed bump hits this made-for-the-Hallmark-channel romance. He cheats on you.

Naturally, you confide in your girlfriends for some crushed-heart catharsis. "Why?" you ask them over rolling tears, streaking eyeliner and a pint of Ben and Jerry's. "'Cause he's a big jerk! All men are just big jerks," one of your most relationship-savvy friends tells you.

Frankly, these nausea-inducing scenarios are not worth losing sleep over. Even if the reasons why he cheated are answered, they are usually quite poor.

Sure, he's a jerk. Your friend nailed it on the head with that one. Unfortunately, that is probably not the only reason he cheated on you. I can tell you with nearly 100 percent assurance that he didn't date you for months, take you on dates and brag about you to his friends so he could plan this courtship D-day to shatter your hopes and dreams.

And guys: Your girlfriend's "whorish" behavior of getting drunk and sucking face with every guy at the party probably wasn't a premeditated attempt to tell you it's over. In fact, some say you shouldn't even blame her, Jamie Foxx suggests you "blame it on the A-A-A-A-Alcohol."

So why does it happen then? Many men and women in long-term relationships have faced this painful and irreversible situation. In fact, some statistics indicate nearly half of the population has been cheated on in some way or another. While reasons vary depending on the couple, I hit the streets and the books to bring you some of the most common and logical (logical used loosely in this context) reasons why a significant other feels compelled to cheat.

First, I went straight to the source. One-on-one conversations with individual people. The answers ranged from somewhat respectable (again, respectable used loosely) to outright absurd.

"I think sometimes it is a matter of boredom," one responder said. "Sometimes, you begin to develop a relationship with someone, maybe from class, and you begin spending more time with this person than you do with the person you are dating. At this point, you become bored with your significant other, and this new person starts to seem more exciting and ‘right' for you."

This is the most common response. Another one, slightly more honest than the previous one, involves perception of the relationship. "I think some people have the wrong idea of what their role in the other person's life is. Some people are more attached to their boyfriend (or girlfriend) than the other party. That, or the person feeling cheated on has the wrong idea of how serious the relationship is. If it is not a formal relationship, you know, like ‘Facebook official,' I don't necessarily feel inclined to be with that one particular person."

An added facet of infidelity involves that one syllable word. The ex. "When I get out of a serious relationship, I often find myself trying as hard as I can to move on to someone else." This sort of behavior is commonly referred to as a rebound relationship. During this "rebound," it is quite common for the dumped party to remain in contact with their ex. For reasons such as unfinished business (no dirty euphemisms intended), your lover may be double dipping with both you and their ex. It may burn like putting a cigarette out on your eyeball, but the fact is, they may not have been interested in you the first place.

Dr. Yvonne Fulbright, a sexologist and relationship expert also gives some insight on this forbidden fruit.

She states that no form of cheating is acceptable. If it comes down to the simple fact that you feel compelled to cheat, then end ties with your current partner. Despite the fact that cheating may satisfy your currently meager sex satisfaction, there is still a high wall of lies and deception.

While none of this information takes a relationship expert to conjure up, much less understand, she does give us something to think about.

While the cheater is always the culprit in the end, some self-reflection may help pinpoint the problem. The unwillingness to try new things, sexually or otherwise, can lead toward boredom for the other person. A general lack of concern for the other person may also lead your lover astray. Like Toby Keith once said, "I like talking about you, you, you, usually. But occasionally, I want to talk about me." None of this is to suggest that cheating is acceptable, because it isn't. Furthermore, it is not a personal reflection to make myself feel better about a past sin, because it isn't.

Since about half of us, me included, have been cheated on in one way or another, it is easy to label your other half as a worthless pile. And while cheating is not acceptable, it is important to remember a few things. Bringing these issues out in the open before longer-term commitments are better to have now then down the road, where legal documents are required to break things off. Secondly, the single life is a great way to explore your own self and determine which qualities make you "date-worthy" and which qualities can be improved upon.