The best Valentine’s Day I ever had was two years ago.
One of my friends had two different men send her flowers and candy. She felt terrible because she ultimately had to reject the advances of one guy who went to the trouble of sending her candy, but I felt great: I received her “extra” valentine.
That’s the closest I’ve come to having a romantic partner to spend Valentine’s Day with. Sure, I’d like a boyfriend. The idea’s nice. But I’m too busy for a relationship anyway.
I’ve spent my college career attempting to master journalism. Between my freshman and sophomore year, I wrote over 200 stories for The Daily Nebraskan. Now as an editor, I talk about the news reporters with bags under my eyes, but the biggest smile on my face. I love being busy.
Despite my passion for journalism, the cold, bitter gusts of wind and gloomy sky make me long for my bed. Some days, I am running late because I can’t think of a single reason to get out of my bed. Then I remember what people expect of me, take a sip of pre-made, lukewarm coffee and brace for the day ahead.
I often feel alone, passively wondering if I’ll be alone forever. But then I brush the fear away and continue with my responsibilities.
Through my trials and tribulations, I am learning that the most important relationship I have is the one with myself.
A boy will not cure my depression or loneliness. That’s my own battle to fight. And before I even think about having a boyfriend, I should make sure I take care of myself and have enough self respect to find a man who will appreciate me for who I am.
Whether I am in a relationship or not, it’s important that I am in tune with my own emotions. I need to value my own happiness and ambitions. And that’s not selfish — it’s self-care.
Unlike the stupid singing trolls in “Frozen,” I am not a love expert. I have never been in a relationship nor have I come close to having one. I also have some of the worst self-care habits of anyone I know.
But I’ll say tonight’s plans consist of me, a dumb romantic comedy and a half gallon of chocolate milk. Yes, chocolate milk. My one true love.
No man may send me a valentine, but chocolates tend to be on sale the next day anyway. And who knows? Maybe one of my friends will receive unwanted chocolate and flowers.
Tonight, I’ll take time to breathe and reflect on who I am becoming. I will work on my relationship with myself and take a moment to recognize its importance. I may be romantically alone, but there’s nothing wrong with that.