I realized lately that my last three issues of “Sex Scrawls” haven’t had much to do with sex. But because I’ve been so busy enjoying my singleness, I haven’t had many opportunities to do much, um, research. (Not that I’m complaining!)
So last Saturday – not wanting to disappoint my readers – I went looking for sex.
My first stop was Doctor John’s. (What were you expecting? A stroll down O Street?)
Prior to this weekend, I had been to only one sex shop. It was a quick visit, one of those I-just-turned-18-so-now-I’m-going-to-go-buy-a-pack-of-cigarettes-and-go-to-a-sex-shop kind of visits, and consisted of me walking around wide-eyed for a few minutes with my arms glued to my sides.
This weekend was different, though, because this time I had something to prove.
I was taking two friends with me. I’ll call them Audrey and Danielle. Neither had been to a sex shop before, and I, being the person that I am, felt it was my duty to take them with me and show them the ropes. (Actually, we tried to stay away from the ropes. These were beginners, after all.)
I feel sex shops have a bad reputation for being dark and scary and full of creepy old men who smell faintly of gasoline. I was hoping, for my sake as much as my friends’, this would not be the case.
So Saturday afternoon, the three of us piled into Danielle’s car and headed across town in search of sex, or at least some laughs. Here’s what we found:
Doctor John’s: “The Big Name”
The entrance of the Doctor John’s on 48th Street was filled with racks of skimpy, sequined Halloween costumes and marked-down high heels. Audrey almost bought a pair of heels, which were actually quite cute, but they didn’t have her size.
From the front, the clothing racks continued all the way to the back wall. The store sells costumes, lingerie, sleepwear, swimwear and even extra-large T-shirts.
The majority of the floor-space was dedicated to apparel, while the real blush-inducing items were separated off to one side of the store by a partial wall.
These “novelty” items ranged from sexy to silly to scary. My friends and I were all baffled by the amount of vibrators that were made to resemble cute animals, such as bunnies, dolphins and – most baffling of all – caterpillars. Creepy.
But the most fascinating thing I found was a line of glass dildos that ranged in price from $29.99 to $299.99. I kid you not.
Overall, Doctor John’s had an extensive and varied selection of items and a clean, organized feel.
“It wasn’t as awkward as I was expecting,” Danielle said.
“I liked how the front was less intense than the back,” Audrey said.
Grade: B+
Priscilla’s: “The Starter Store”
As the second store we visited, Priscilla’s had a lot to live up to.
And somehow, it exceeded our expectations.
Although it was less than half the size of Doctor John’s and had a considerably smaller selection, Priscilla’s was able to deliver in other ways.
Although the store offered the regular fares – lingerie, costumes, massage oils, DVDs and novelty items – the majority of the things were fun and silly and much less frightening than some of the items we saw at Doctor John’s.
The atmosphere of Priscilla’s was also different. It felt almost like an adult version of a Claire’s boutique or a cute – though X-rated – gift shop. There was even a selection of greeting cards at the front of the store.
Some of our favorite items at Priscilla’s were cleverly named vibrators that came in candy-bar themed packaging. (The one resembling a 100 Grand Bar was called “100 Orgasms.”) Another fun item was a piñata shaped like, well, I’m pretty sure you can guess what it was shaped like.
Priscilla’s had a laid-back atmosphere and a small but varied selection.
“This one was like a starter store,” Danielle said. “If I was serious about getting something, I’d go to (Doctor John’s). But this one was better because it was more fun.”
Grade: A
Romantix: “The Specialists”
By the time we headed downtown to visit Romantix, we thought we had seen everything.
Oh, how wrong we were.
At first, Romantix seemed just like the other two stores we had visited: lingerie and costumes at the front, novelty items off to one side and toward the back. But then we started looking at the items.
We started noticing a lot more fetish and specialty items, including an entire line of products called “Sex in the Shower,” which offered all sorts of straps and handles and footrests and other such things to install in showers.
But these items seemed quite tame in comparison to Romantix’s extensive porn selection.
Rows and rows of DVDs ran down one wall, across the back wall and spilled into an entirely separate room. The selection was so large it was organized into several genres. It was like an entire video store of just porn. Danielle and I estimated they must have had more than 1,000 different titles. But this is definitely a rough estimate; even the employees say there’s too many to count.
Now, this was all fine and good with us, that is, until we noticed the “Preview Room.” And that’s when I, two hours, three sex shops and thousands of phallic-shaped items of varying shapes and sizes later, finally felt a little uncomfortable.
To be fair, Romantix itself wasn’t creepy, and it had a great selection of items. In particular, one line of vibrators caught our attention because the packaging was so clean and modern, and the items themselves had classy, discrete appearances, rather than some of the more popular anatomically correct shapes.
But seriously, that “Preview Room,” was a little much for me. And by a little, I mean a lot.
“If you’ve never been (to a sex shop) before, and you’re scared about going, don’t go to (Romantix),” Danielle said with a laugh. “It’s not for beginners.”
Grade: C+
Johnna Hjersman is a senior news-editorial major. Reach her at johnnahjersman@dailynebraskan.com
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