HJERSMAN: A beginner’s guide to sex shops

I realized lately that my last three issues of "Sex Scrawls" haven't had much to do with sex. But because I've been so busy enjoying my singleness, I haven't had many opportunities to do much, um, research. (Not that I'm complaining!)

So last Saturday – not wanting to disappoint my readers – I went looking for sex.

My first stop was Doctor John's. (What were you expecting? A stroll down O Street?)

Prior to this weekend, I had been to only one sex shop. It was a quick visit, one of those I-just-turned-18-so-now-I'm-going-to-go-buy-a-pack-of-cigarettes-and-go-to-a-sex-shop kind of visits, and consisted of me walking around wide-eyed for a few minutes with my arms glued to my sides.

This weekend was different, though, because this time I had something to prove.

I was taking two friends with me. I'll call them Audrey and Danielle. Neither had been to a sex shop before, and I, being the person that I am, felt it was my duty to take them with me and show them the ropes. (Actually, we tried to stay away from the ropes. These were beginners, after all.)

I feel sex shops have a bad reputation for being dark and scary and full of creepy old men who smell faintly of gasoline. I was hoping, for my sake as much as my friends', this would not be the case.

So Saturday afternoon, the three of us piled into Danielle's car and headed across town in search of sex, or at least some laughs. Here's what we found:

Doctor John's: "The Big Name"

The entrance of the Doctor John's on 48th Street was filled with racks of skimpy, sequined Halloween costumes and marked-down high heels. Audrey almost bought a pair of heels, which were actually quite cute, but they didn't have her size.

From the front, the clothing racks continued all the way to the back wall. The store sells costumes, lingerie, sleepwear, swimwear and even extra-large T-shirts.

The majority of the floor-space was dedicated to apparel, while the real blush-inducing items were separated off to one side of the store by a partial wall.

These "novelty" items ranged from sexy to silly to scary. My friends and I were all baffled by the amount of vibrators that were made to resemble cute animals, such as bunnies, dolphins and – most baffling of all – caterpillars. Creepy.

But the most fascinating thing I found was a line of glass dildos that ranged in price from $29.99 to $299.99. I kid you not.

Overall, Doctor John's had an extensive and varied selection of items and a clean, organized feel.

"It wasn't as awkward as I was expecting," Danielle said.

"I liked how the front was less intense than the back," Audrey said.

Grade: B+

Priscilla's: "The Starter Store"

As the second store we visited, Priscilla's had a lot to live up to.

And somehow, it exceeded our expectations.

Although it was less than half the size of Doctor John's and had a considerably smaller selection, Priscilla's was able to deliver in other ways.

Although the store offered the regular fares – lingerie, costumes, massage oils, DVDs and novelty items – the majority of the things were fun and silly and much less frightening than some of the items we saw at Doctor John's.