Today is my dad’s birthday, his 50th, in fact.
I would really like to do something special for him today, but it is notoriously hard to figure out good gifts for parents. My dad has pretty much everything he needs, and all the really good stuff – like maybe a fishing trip up in Canada – is a little out of my college-student price range.
On top of that, I am here in Nebraska, more than 200 miles away from my family in Sioux Falls. That really makes doing things like making a nice dinner or the “surprise” sort of gifts pretty much out of the question.
The more I think about this desire to do something meaningful for my dad on his 50th birthday, the more I am plagued by this sense that I have very little to offer. Yet, this is no excuse. As I spent some time reflecting on all he has given me, however, I stumbled on a somewhat unlikely solution: gratitude.
William James once wrote, “The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.”
So, Dad, while I know this isn’t much, I would like to take a few hundred words here today to give the gift of gratitude, to show my appreciation and to say thanks for being a great father to me and for all that you have done.
To begin with, although it might seem a little ridiculous, I want to say thanks for simply stepping up and accepting your role as a father. According to a 2004 Census Bureau report, around one-third of children today live in households in which their biological father is not present. In many of these situations, the child’s father is completely or almost completely absent from his or her life. So, while it would be easy to take your simple presence in my life for granted, there is great reason to say thanks to dedicating the last 22 years of your life to being a father.
Beyond this, thank you for being a great father and for taking such an active interest and role in my life. Thanks for bringing me to all the soccer, basketball and softball games and practices (and for coaching a good number of them) and for coming and cheering at all those cross-country meets. Thanks for taking me hunting and fishing and camping. Thanks for taking time to teach me and spend time with me. Thanks for encouraging me and supporting me in my education and for sacrificing your time and energy to support me in the activities that have been so beneficial to me.
Thank you for having high expectations for me and for pushing me to never settle for anything less than my best. Your expectations for me in many areas of my life, but especially in education, have provided me with the drive and the discipline to set my own goals high and to realize my own potential.
Thank you also for accepting me and loving me exactly as I am and making sure that I always knew that as long as I gave my best, I had succeeded in your eyes.
Now that I am living away from home and have had some time to reflect back on some of the rules you had, I also want to say thank you for many of the things you didn’t let me do and the times you said no. Thanks for not always letting me go see whatever movie I wanted, for not letting me stay out as late as some of my friends and for making me call and check in.
Thanks for asking questions like “Who’s going to be there” and “What are you going to do?” At the same time, thank you for giving me enough freedom to learn to make good decisions and for teaching me to live and act responsibly. Thank you for correcting me when I was out of line and for punishing me when I deserved it.
Thank you for setting an example of what it means to be a good man and a good father. Thanks for loving me, my sibling and my mother unconditionally. Thanks for sacrificing for us.
Thank you especially for realizing that you are not perfect and working to make yourself better. While it might not have seemed as if they were making a big difference at the time, your apologies to me have been significant. We didn’t fight a lot when I was in high school, but there were a few times. And almost every time, even though I was definitely in the wrong, after things had calmed down, you would be the first to apologize and to recognize your faults in the matter. It might have taken a few years to sink in, but this taught me so much about being humble and accepting responsibility.
Finally, thank you for taking your Catholic faith seriously, for passing it on to me and working to ensure that it became something also important to me.
As I am getting to the end of my space for this column, I realize that a few hundred words are not nearly enough to thank you for everything I would like to. However, John F. Kennedy once said, “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” So, although this list of thanks is far from complete, I hope I can honor your love, your sacrifice and your example through the way I live my life.
Thanks so much, Dad, and happy birthday. I love you.
Luke Fischer is a senior secondary education major. Reach him at lukefischer@dailynebraskan.com.
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