CITTA: Everyday chemicals carry scary side-effects

We live in a scary world. Violence infests our city streets; carcinogens threaten our healthy livelihood and Kevin Federline actually recorded an album.

This is surely Dickens' "worst of times." 

Now we must contend with a new silent killer – a public health threat that is entrenched in our daily lives – a chemical that is widely used but far too dangerous to take for granted.
I speak of the infamous dihydrogen monoxide.

For such a relatively unknown chemical, DHMO's inherent dangers are very grave. But like most benignly frightening public health scares, if people knew more about DHMO, then there would be no cause for concern.

For many, this may be the first time you've heard of DHMO. Although there is certainly no reason to panic, you should be forewarned: DHMO could kill you and your entire family. With that being said, sometimes panicking is the best policy.

Unfortunately, exposure to DHMO is virtually impossible to avoid in our modern lives. However, there are ways of minimizing exposure and effective methods of keeping yourself safe when faced with DHMO. The advocacy Web site DHMO.org is set up to warn and inform the public about how scary this everyday chemical is.

The dangers of DHMO have been well documented. It's known to be fatal if inhaled, even in small quantities. Prolonged exposure to DHMO's solid state severely damages the skin and gaseous DHMO has been known to cause severe burns. DHMO has even been identified as a major component of acid rain.

Are you frightened yet? You should be.

The uses of this dangerous chemical are varied, but equally frightening. It can be used as a fire retardant and as an industrial solvent. It's found in nuclear power plants, in the production of Styrofoam and in the manufacturing of biochemical weapons.

Although there is no conclusive evidence, it's feared that DHMO may possess some long-term psychological effects in cases of prolonged exposure. A study by the Falsus Academy at the University of Xavier found that every death row inmate it studied had been exposed to large amounts of DHMO in their lifetimes. In a separate study, FAUX unearthed a clear correlation between congressmen involved in corruption scandals and heavy exposure to DHMO.

More eccentric personalities like infamous celebrities Michael Jackson and Britney Spears have admitted to long-term intake of DHMO; adding credence to the reliable FAUX results. Even the Pope has confessed his frequent contact with this dangerous chemical.

It's not just high-profile celebrities or criminals who have placed themselves in the cascading influence of DHMO. DHMO is in many household products that millions of people use everyday. From cough medicines, to food products (including baby food) and toiletries like deodorant and shampoos – it seems as if everything has a link to DHMO.

Finding out who is using DHMO is even more frightening. Our iconic sports figures, many of whom the younger generations admire, constantly use DHMO to enhance their athletic performance. This illicit use crushes the illusion that athleticism is determined by physical strength instead of by chemical means. With moral authority figures disintegrating in our current culture, this will surely present a devastating blow to nine-year-olds everywhere.

Even worse, Al Quaeda has been a long-time advocate of DHMO. As good Americans, we can't continue to use a product that is supported by this terrorist organization. After all, if we support DHMO and al Quaeda supports DHMO, then by the transitive property, we're supporting Al Quaeda.
And then the terrorists win.
DHMO is merely one example of the many frightening implications chemicals have brought us. As common knowledge dictates, chemicals are dangerous. They are known to be carcinogenic and flammable. So whenever we have chemicals in our lives, it's as if someone is putting a gun to our heads and asking us to choose: get cancer or get set on fire.

Perhaps both – a fire cancer, or fancer, if you will.

It's frightening, gun-point scenarios like this that require all people to take serious action now. To have the best health for ourselves and our loved ones, we must attempt to lead a chemical free lifestyle.

To date, there are no studies that directly link DHMO to cancer. But there is strong evidence that suggests people who have unfortunately been afflicted with cancer have large amounts of DHMO in their bodies. A correlation such as this cannot be ignored.

The average person doesn't need to worry about educating themselves whenever these scares come to light; that's the job of a news anchor reading the results of a single study that's awaiting publication. In the case of DHMO, any reduction of this compound in your daily life is beneficial.

If that means a shower sabbatical, skipping out on deodorant or not feeding your baby – then so be it. Chemicals have brought great things to society: food on the dinner table, fragrant odors on our bodies and smiles on our children's faces. But chemicals also bring something else to our children: cancer.

So cutting out deadly compounds like DHMO is essential to keeping our families safe.

Kyle Citta is a faux studies major. Reach him at kylecitta@dailynebraskan.com