I’m sorry Halloween, but it’s not you, it’s me. For all I know, my dislike of you could stem anywhere from my lifelong fear of spiders to the redundant cost for a one-time use costume. Maybe, I’ve just grown out of your foolish trick-or-treats. The point is, I’ve met someone else. The Christmas season is calling my name and I’m flirting with the winter freeze. I think it’s time for me to explore this relationship with Christmas and dismiss you from my life completely.

Halloween is supposed to bridge the gap between the edge of summer and beginning of the dark, cold winter. Call me a witch, but I think it’s all a little redundant. From costumes to carving pumpkins, it’s a child’s fantasy and an excuse for cosplay to roam the street. 

I didn’t always have a hatred for Halloween. As a child, I loved the opportunity to get free candy just by walking around and knocking on doors. Regardless of how many sweets I could rake in, the stress of choosing the perfect costume always loomed over my head.

After entering high school, picking the perfect Halloween ensemble didn’t get easier. As a college student, I constantly worry about showing up to a party dressed like Cady from Mean Girls. I couldn’t imagine the horror of showing up as a zombie when everyone else is a sexy bunny. I try not to think too much about fitting in with the status quo, but there’s a pretty big difference between blood spilling out of brains and a tiny little skirt. Besides, how many of these costumes are you really going to wear again? Children at least play dress-up from time to time.

I have a love-hate relationship with trick-or-treating. The treating part is sweet because everyone wants free candy, but I struggle trying to accept teaching young children to seek revenge when they don’t get what they want. The common “trick-or-treat” chant from children holds a promised threat of tricking the old neighbors if the children aren’t handed a glorious amount of cavity creators. At least with Christmas we’re teaching children to give out of the goodness of the heart.

Just like Christmas sales, the one perk of Halloween is Nov. 1 when all of the leftover candy is discounted. I’m a fan of chocolate and fruity flavors, but there’s some Halloween traditions that have to go.

One Halloween candy that is nauseating is the traditional candy corn. First off, I thoroughly believe the creator despised vegetables growing up and wanted a sugar treat with a veggie name. Even if that’s just a belief, this candy is still designed to look like chicken feed. It’s almost like Scooby Snacks where we feel the need to treat ourselves like farm animals. I don’t mind eating candy corn with my bowl of popcorn, but after a few bites I can feel the sugar eroding my teeth.

I’d still prefer off-brand candy corn to the houses that gave out pencils or little bags of carrots. If you choose to be one of those houses, you’re bound to wake up with toilet paper tenting your house. Halloween is a dull version of April Fool’s Day, where instead of giving people something to laugh about, it’s finding pleasure in people peeing themselves. I never visited haunted houses or decorated with spiders. Why would anyone purposefully enjoy giving themselves the jeepers creepers?

I absolutely refuse to watch any horror or Halloween movies. The only movie I will watch around this time of year is “Coco.” Instead of focusing on the morbid and spine-chills from Halloween, it focuses on Día de los Muertos. Day of the Dead is three days spent celebrating life and death through parties and celebrations. This Mexican celebration focuses on honoring and remembering their past loved ones. The skull face paintings represent loved ones instead of trying to scare friends and strangers.

I don’t understand why, but some people really just want to be terrified. However, if you want some real fright for this night, CBS reported in 2018 that there was a 17% increase in criminal activity on Halloween. In the case that you aren’t worried about getting robbed or vandalized, then at least consider your safety walking around town. Science Daily reported in 2018 that there was a 43% increase in pedestrian deaths on Halloween than the week before and after. Just for children between the age of four and eight, this number was 10 times higher on Halloween.

Needless to say, you won’t catch me at any haunted houses or sticking my hands into a cold and slimy pumpkin this Halloween season. Last week, I began my Christmas movie marathon on Netflix, and I plan on continuing my binge-watch on Sunday under a mountain of blankets. Perhaps I’ll even get festive and make a warm mug of hot cocoa and begin decorating for Christmas.