I plan on celebrating my 22nd birthday on Oct. 8 while wrapped in bedazzled fabric that could pass as a dress, as long as you’re not my parents. I’ll be standing — slightly buzzed — in the corner of my boyfriend’s house while a raging party happens around me. My one ring-embellished hand will be outstretched for my fans to kiss and the other, less embellished hand will be holding a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. On my feet, I’ll be wearing transparent, platform clogs to stomp on party-goers that attempt to outdress me. 

I can describe all this because I love red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting, and I’ve been planning my birthday outfit for the past couple months.

On a more serious note, birthdays can be very stressful. First of all, you’re one year older. That’s an exciting concept if you’re under the age of 21. But after 21 years, I think your life stays stagnant, and the only thing that changes is your face as it slowly starts sagging and gathering wrinkles. Second, all your friends expect you to plan this extravagant birthday party for yourself and somehow align it with all their schedules. And then, to top it all off, you have to make sure your outfit is flawless and better than all the other attendees’ ensembles. It’s enough to make anyone combust. 

Luckily, I have had my fair share of birthday parties as a host and a guest, and I’ve gathered some fashionable outfit ideas to share with you. That way you can focus on planning the party instead of stressing out about the outfit. 

The birthday host’s fit

If it’s your birthday, don’t hold back when getting dressed. Your birthday is the only holiday of the year that is all about you, so take full advantage and pull out all the stops. 

If it’s hot outside, go with a sequined, backless mini dress or romper. If it’s a little chilly, wear a black long-sleeve crop top with a skirt that’s a brilliant color like neon green or neon red. If dresses aren’t your thing, find some striped slacks and wear a striped blazer with no shirt underneath. If you’re feeling a little fratty, wear some mirrored, chrome aviators with red shorts and a patterned, button-up shirt.

Basically, just look through your closet, find the flashiest or most scandalous thing and put it on. Trust me, you’ll look great.

When it comes to sashes and crowns emblazoned with “It’s my birthday,” wearing them to the bars can be fun because people will probably give you free shots, but sometimes they can be a little tacky. However, if I were to wear a crown, I’d go for something that looks like Queen Elizabeth let me borrow it.

The birthday guest’s fit

Being the guest at a birthday party is a delicate balance between being too much or being too little. You want to look like you care enough about the birthday royalty to dress up, but you don’t want to outdress them. 

I’d go for a simple backless pink dress, or black slacks and a shirt with a funny birthday saying on it. Dress simple, but extravagant. Also, maybe bring some gloves in case you have to hold your bestie’s hair back when they throw up all those birthday shots. 

Now that you have the perfect outfit, it’s time to turn up the tunes and dance away any birthday reservations you may have. 

Also, since all of these outfit ideas were relatively cost-friendly, you should have enough money left over to buy me a shot of tequila. I’ll be wearing a black, sparkly dress with my aforementioned clear platform clogs and exactly 10 rings on my hands. I’ll probably be dancing very poorly in the middle of some bar in the Haymarket with a slowly sagging face since I’m now a year older.