In the first 30 seconds of the video, we meet the former Disney child star. Miley Cyrus stares into the camera, devoid of all emotion, as a sole tear trickles down the left side of her two-faced complexion. The viewer is left to wonder why she is so sad with no feasible answer aside from “she’s just being Miley.”

Suddenly, the viewer is looking at the seemingly underage Cyrus as she innocently plays with a sledgehammer in nothing but her undergarments. It looks like Billy Ray Cyrus has forgotten, once again, to dress Miley before her video shoot.

After viewers are done staring at the nearly naked former child star, they will notice that there is a wrecking ball crashing through a series of misplaced cinder block walls, an obvious allusion to Miley’s dead mother from the hit child sitcom “Hannah Montana.”

The camera flashes back to Miley as she is still crying about the pain her TV mother has caused to the family, but Miley isn’t without human error. She tells mom that she can be “Just Like You” as she is now naked, swinging around on the wrecking ball, bringing the debaucherous spirit of mama back.

Miley really gives Billy Ray the “Single Dad Blues” as she is now suggestively licking — and thrusting herself upon — the sledgehammer. “Sweet niblets,” Robby Ray shouts as Miley takes it upon herself to be a literal home-wrecker. She swings the hammer at the cinder block foundation of all that is sacred to the Cyrus family: honor, fame and Cheese Jerky.

Viewers are now confronted with the image of America’s sweetheart lying in the aftermath of her teen angst. With an asymmetrical haircut, and the tool of her own destruction in hand, Miley realizes the startling reality of her actions.

Defeated, she says to the camera, “I never meant to start a war. I only wanted you to let me in.”

Just as quickly as most men gained interest in the video after seeing Miley’s lack of clothing, the attitude of the video has changed. The viewers now have an emotional bond with Miley, because they too have felt the weight of their own mistakes crush their hopes and dreams.

The video ends with Miley lying in what is left of her career, which has been drawn out ad nauseam, with the wrecking ball still destroying what is left of her pathetic life.

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