Saturday night, I had sex.
I had sex, and my roommate had to find somewhere else to sleep.
To be fair, I texted her beforehand to let her know my guest would be staying the night, and I was confident at least one of the seven people she was eating with at the diner would volunteer to put her up for the night.
My roommate and I share an adorable apartment. It has hardwood floors, a remote-control fireplace and huge windows.
And one bedroom, which we share.
It’s actually not that big of a deal. She’s usually at work until 2:00 a.m., and I have daily dance practice at 6:00 a.m. Our weekday schedules are such that we’re hardly ever in the apartment at the same time, other than the few hours when we’re both sleeping.
And if our weekend – or bedroom – schedules ever overlap, we make sure to let each other know.
Sex and roommates are two aspects of college that are almost unavoidable. It’s important to make sure having one doesn’t ruin having the other.
Most people have had some sort of experience with walking in on roommates or having roommates walk in on them having sex. It might be awkward, but no college experience is complete without at least one, “Oh, uh, sorry,” stammered from the doorway.
My freshman year, I roomed with a girl who was much more conservative than I. One day she walked in on my boyfriend and me completely naked on my futon. She didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day and barely made eye contact with me or my boyfriend for nearly a week.
I learned three things that day: 1. Never rely on your roommate’s class schedule to plan sex sessions, because classes can and do get canceled.
2. Always put a blanket down before doing it on a futon, because blankets fit in washing machines much more easily than futons do.
But most importantly, 3. In order to juggle both a sex life and a good roommate relationship, both roommates have to be open to discussion about the situation.
Don’t be afraid to devise a system with your roommate that lets him or her know when to avoid the dorm or apartment for a while.
Put a hair-tie on the doorknob. Draw a heart on the whiteboard. Text them the code word. (Mine and my roommate’s is “pretzel.”)
I know it’s not exactly a revolutionary idea – plenty of people do it – but it’s the best way to avoid accidental walk-ins.
Even if the two of you don’t share a bedroom, it’s necessary to let each other know what’s cool and what’s not cool.
For instance, a friend of mine lives with another guy in an apartment. They each have their own room, yet his roommate often has sex with his girlfriend on the couch in the living room.
My friend tries to be accomodating:
“I’m cool with them having sex on the couch, and I’m cool with them having sex when I’m home, just not at the same time, ‘cuz then I’m stuck in my room. The other night, I had just eaten some cereal, and I couldn’t take the bowl to the sink because they were out there. And I wanted to go to bed, but I couldn’t go brush my teeth.”
If you’re the one having sex, don’t expect your roommate to go out of his or her way all the time. They live there too and shouldn’t have to be constantly worried about whose bare butt they’re going to walk in on or whose exaggerated moaning and screaming they’ll have to drown out with headphones.
And, if you’re not the one having sex, don’t resent your roommate for getting so much action. It’s not their fault you haven’t gotten lucky since last November … I’m kidding, of course.
Johnna is a junior news-ed major. Reach her at johnnahjersman@dailynebraskan.com
That girl from your high school who was taking the virginity of all the Star Trek dorks in order to feel "empowered".