ORIANS: Band breakups hurt like the end of a family

The worst part of being in a band is when it ends. There is no such thing as a band that lives forever — everything will end.

It's one thing when the band falls apart. I've been in groups where members lose touch and everything just fades away. When members don't fight to stay together and continue to create music, it clearly wasn't worth the time in the first place.

Sometimes members move on. Omaha-based Straight Outta Junior High disbanded for a while when its lead singer went through a divorce and decided to add stability to his life by getting a real job. Lincoln's own JV Allstars went through similar circumstances where members had gone on to live "real" lives and pursue something else they love. My old band, the Heat Machine, is another example of that.

The Heat Machine breaking up was a really rough time for all seven of us. Even though I was only in the band for about eight months, as opposed to the four years the rest of the band put in, the Machine had become a part of my life. Because of that band, I met people who, very literally, changed my life plans. I stopped regretting my decision to transfer from my dream school because of that band. I made the best friends of my life and finally began to figure out my place in the world.

Yeah, music can do that. Bands can do that. It's more than just performing music you love. Being in a band and traveling across the country together is like having another family. An awesome family that you get to party with every night and wake up next to every morning, and it never gets creepy. Tensions can run high living in close quarters with the same people for a month at a time, but after about a week's worth of rest, there's nothing in the world I want to do more than head back out with my family.

Only one romantic breakup has affected me like the Heat Machine's did, and that was a relationship, oddly enough, credited to me being in that band. But even so, the Heat Machine was so much more than a nice guy to date. It was so much more than that fuzzy feeling you get when you connect with someone in a romantic way. At the risk of sounding cliche, it was much bigger than all of us.

It was opportunity. There are always more fish in the sea, but where are all the awesome kids who want to play ska music together? How many of us can get together and make great sounds? The fact is, we're few and far between. It's not as easy as "Oh hey, I'll make a new band today" — it takes work and chemistry.

Musicians are a dime a dozen, but to get the right mixture is something that takes years of work and dedication.

So the next time your favorite band breaks up, know that nine times out of 10 it's a hundred times harder for them to deal with than you. For us, it's an end of an era and the end of something that was great to at least a few people. At the end of the day, that's all that really matters.

neilorians@

dailynebraskan.com