HJERSMAN: Women should dump single-life shame

I am single.

This is not an advertisement, though. It is an affirmation.

I am single, and that's exactly how I want to be.

I am single, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I am single, and I have no intentions of changing that – at least not any time soon.

I've noticed a stigma against us single females: People tend to look down upon us for one ridiculous reason or another.

People think that if a girl is single, then there must be something wrong with her; that's the only logical explanation for her solo status.

She must be too tall, too short, too thin, too thick, too loud, too quiet, too smart, too dumb, too pretty, too plain, too ambitious or too lazy. Otherwise, if she were normal, she would have a boyfriend.

And if a girl actually enjoys being single, then people assume she must be a slut.

Single should not be synonymous with promiscuous or pitiful. Single should be synonymous with independent and in-control.

But for some reason, a lot of people simply cannot grasp the idea that a girl would actually want to be single. It seems girls are expected to either be in a relationship or be wholly committed to the pursuit of one.

No one asks a guy whether he's single and then gives him a sympathetic look when he says yes. No one pats him on the back and says, "Don't worry. Someday you'll find her."

Nope.All that pity goes to single girls, while single guys get congratulatory high-fives.

Guys are fully expected to be single. They're expected to play the field and avoid commitment, to hit on girls whenever possible and make it known that they're "single and ready to mingle."

While single guys are out there sowing their wild oats, we single girls are supposed to be home, washing our hair and dreaming of Mr. Right.

But girls are not always helping themselves in battling this stigma.

Before people stop pitying us, we first need to start embracing our singledom.
We should go out with friends. Have a drink. Enjoy ourselves. Flirt and dance with as many guys as we like or dance with just our friends.

This is one of the greatest benefits of being single: We can do whatever we want. We don't have to compromise to make our partner happy, and we never have to feel obligated to them.

We don't have to pretend to like their music. We can blast our Taylor Swift or GS Boyz or whatever we like whenever we want.

We don't have to sit and watch them play zombie video games or feign excitement when their team wins a game. We can watch "Project Runway" instead, and cheer for our very own teams.

Sure, truly enjoying being single is a bit self-indulgent and slightly egocentric. But that's the best part of it.

We get to have our own life. We get to do things we like to do. And we don't have to worry about fitting someone else's interests into our schedule.

We should enjoy our singledom for all it's worth and never hold back, because the only obligations we have are to ourselves.

Instead of pining away, wishing and hoping for Prince Charming to come galloping over the horizon, we single ladies need to start enjoying being single. We should stop sitting there waiting for him to show up, wasting precious time and energy we could be spending enjoying our freedom and independence and indulging our awesome selves.

It's time for us to ditch the pity party and take control of our awesomely single lives.

Put your hands up, single ladies. It's time for our high-fives.

Johnna Hjersman is a senior news-editorial major. Reach her at johnnahjersman@dailynebraskan.com.