Tom Helberg
"You're engaged? How old are you?"
When I tell people that I'm engaged, I often get mixed reactions. Many congratulate me; most are stupefied to some degree.
It's not the norm for a 20-year-old college undergrad to take the plunge, but at least I've gotten used to the bemusement. I've been engaged for a year with another year and a half to go. That's another tough pill for people to swallow.
Why throw away my freedom for the ol' ball and chain before I even graduate? Well, I just kind of want to. I don't have the stereotypical he-man fear of commitment (which hopefully doesn't make me a she-man instead). I just like having the future locked in with my best friend. Isn't it secretly everyone's desire to do his best friend anyway? Don't tell me Cory and Shawn didn't think about it.
Katelyn and I have been dating for a little more than three years now and started talking about marriage our senior year of high school. Sometimes it felt like age was the only problem in our way.
Walking through Gateway Mall, I happened upon Whitehall Jewelers going out of business. Out of curiosity, I walked in, looking extra sophisticated in my plaid shorts and "Dick in a Box" T-shirt. But there were killer deals on engagement rings, and I had money in the bank. Why not make the most expensive impulsive buy ever? Forgoing comparison shopping or calculating the 4 C's, I bought the first ring shown to me because I had a good feeling. I later found that I'd purchased a decent diamond.
Maybe my priorities are a little different than other people our age. Instead of working for booze or smokes, I'm stashing away money for our first few years of marriage. We'll be broke off our asses to start with, so every little bit helps. I'm also vying for a promotion so I can have a slightly more respectable position. Stocking shelves and sacking groceries a couple times a week isn't exactly the kind of job that has future parents-in-law saying, "Welcome to the family, son."
Fortunately, my fiancee's parents have been supportive of us, and are nothing like the notion of in-laws from hell. But that doesn't take away the horror of asking a father for his daughter's hand in marriage. Luckily, after some negotiation, he was kind enough to let me ask her. Paying a bride price would have been a less stressful process for me, but I have no idea how many goats or shekels of silver my woman is worth.
After the down-on-one-knee proposal complete with a poem and fancy dinner, we still had a long time to go. We waited a year into the engagement to even start planning the wedding. She just picked out her dress, and I'm going to call the DJ soon. Preparation has finally commenced.
Yes, being engaged this young obviously has some unique challenges. I'm not financially stable just yet, though I hope to be when the time comes. I haven't even lived in my own apartment yet: Hell, I still live with my parents.
My experience in the adult world is limited, unless numerous pornography subscriptions count. Kidding.
A co-worker recently said to me, "You're 20 and engaged; I'm 22 and can hardly handle a boyfriend." So I guess it is a little weird that we're engaged, but I don't care. I like it, though it's certainly not for everyone. But if you know, you know. Go for it.
We've already had plenty of waiting, and there's more waiting to go in our little two-and-a-half-year engagement.
At least in the interim, I'll turn 21 and have something to occupy my time. Then, maybe, I can spend a little on myself.
Tom Helberg is a sophomore film studies major. Reach him at tomhelberg@dailynebraskan.com.
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