Disappointing 'Cowboys & Aliens' overburdened with plot

There's an undefinable quality to the draw of a film called "Cowboys & Aliens." It inhabits a neo-camp niche that in years past has been filled by masterpieces like "Snakes on a Plane." The audacious cheese-factor of these titles implies a self-awareness that the makers of "Snakes" picked up on - they even added a certain vulgar and memorable line to the film simply because the Internet buzz had led fans to expect it.

So what could film fans have expected out of Jon Favreau's sci-fi/Western mashup? And when the trailer already promises James Bond and Han Solo fighting sinsiter extraterrestrials, what else could they deliver? Unfortunately, just about anything the audience could have imagined ahead of time would be superior to the story devised by Favreau and Co.

The setup is golden: Daniel Craig wakes up wounded, shoeless and amnesiac in the Arizona desert, with a mysterious metal bracelet on his forearm. Soon he's riding into a struggling mining town in search of medical help, only to find out the memories he's missing are those of a life of crime. He doesn't feel like a bad guy, but everyone around him is pretty convinced, especially cattle baron Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford), who Jake Lonergan (Craig) robbed right before disappearing.

One might not expect a cinematic endeavor named "Cowboys & Aliens" to be overburdened with plot. But leave it to modern Hollywood to make something so simple this boring. Instead of a spattering of lighthearted, fun dialogue connecting indulgent action sequences, the audience is given one overwrought, unnececessary subplot after another that space out both the alien encounters and the two stars. Admittedly, Craig and Ford shine through the rusty grime of the film around them. Ford is growly and perfect, Craig cold and taciturn. They both fit their roles well, but multiple distractions keep them from sharing the screen for more than a few minutes at a time. The two stars' chemistry, which you could bottle up and sell on the streets like crack, is given no chance to develop.

Instead, meaningless background characters fill the nearly 2-hour runtime, some cliched and predictable (like the underutilized Sam Rockwell), some confusing, others downright detestable. Olivia Wilde plays an irritatingly enigmatic townsperson whose primary function seems to be staring at Lonergan from across a room; perhaps she has some answers to the mysterious occurrences plaguing this portion of the Old West, or perhaps she's simply pondering whose eyes are more dazzling - hers or his.

Either way, the small-town melodrama has just about played itself out by the time the aliens finally arrive in force, soaring out of the night sky in flashy aircraft and lassoing civilians like so many defenseless calfs. Just as quickly as they arrive, they disappear, and the townies band together to track a "demon" that escaped on foot. The posse members want their friends and family back, while Lonergan just wants answers.

The titular aliens are scarce for much of the film. While it could be argued this preserves the suspense, a la "Signs" or "War of the Worlds," this concept comes with an addendum: Whenever those mysterious E.T.s do make it onto screen, there's a good chance they will look laughable. Laughable would be alright if the filmmakers were laughing along with the audience, but everyone involved is so deathly serious that there is little joy to be had.

An early action sequence, wherein Lonergan discovers the true nature of his sci-fi schackle, is one of the brief high points of action and intrigue. Much of the rest of the film could be called "Townsfolk & Outlaws" or "Cowboys & Indians." Native Americans do appear and play a significant role in the climax, but only superficially - they are more bodies to get roasted by laser guns. Any development of themes of culture clash, colonization or technological disparity in times of war is left by the wayside as the plots laboriously tread toward a conclusion like a tired old horse.

What hurts most about "Cowboys & Aliens" is the lost potential. What could have been a celebration of western film conventions, a tongue-in-cheek thrill ride or a legitimately fun film is instead slow, tedious, underdeveloped and overwritten. Just as the aliens were scarier before they were on screen, this movie was better overall before viewing, doomed by the implied outlandishness of its title and the mediocrity of its execution.