BALLARD: Best friends won't last

We are going to be best friends forever.

I've noticed that this is a pretty commonly used phrase among our generation. Often, it is used more in college than in high school, which is alarming in its immaturity. Friendship, like any relationship — romantic or otherwise — has its natural flow. And like any relationship, the courting period is the most exciting:

You meet someone new and create little niches for yourselves in coffee shops or movie theaters. At the beginning of any exciting relationship, one would assume that the chemistry and newness of it all will last for an infinite amount of time.

Two of my favorite movies are the 1983 film "The Big Chill" and the 1995 film "Kicking and Screaming." (not to be confused with the horrendous Will Ferrell soccer comedy). Both of them deal with the idea of friendship and what it means in college. The ensemble pieces both show groups of friends after they have graduated their institutions of higher learning — but in an extremely different way.

"The Big Chill" chronicles friends who are 15 years out of the University of Michigan growing close again after one of their friends has committed suicide. They have all moved on from college and into their own lives — there is an actor working in Hollywood, a real estate lawyer, a doctor and a stay-at-home mom (to name a few).

But, despite their maturity and recent distance, they are able to reconnect over an extended weekend that includes drug use, the climax of romance that has gone unspoken and the rationalization of dreams that changed in a sobering reality.

"Kicking and Screaming," although considered a comedy, has a much darker message. The first film by Noah Baumbach, who later went on to write and direct "The Squid and The Whale," explores friendships fading and being torn apart after graduation from college.

These six or so postgrads opt to stay in their college town in a state of paralysis after their formal education is complete. They continue to go to the same bars, fool around with the same women and wear the same clothing. Everything is out of nauseating habit. Eventually, these men realize that they can no longer be friends if they plan to lead successful lives.

And I wonder, where does that leave us?

Cinema is art, and the purpose of art is to shed some light onto reality. Is it possible for the concept of "best friends forever" to actually exist when these friendships were formed in high school or college?

As I spent last summer in New Jersey, I could see both sides of the debate happening in my group of friends from high school. We spent months apart, all at our separate colleges, yet we still managed to get back together and pick up where we left off.

Adversely, some of my old friends have separated themselves from the group, choosing to pursue other friendships and recreational activities. My first impulse is to look at my group of friends and wonder what is missing. But, when I take a step away from the emotional loss, I realize that it may have little to do with me. It is the natural separation and growth of another individual.

Perhaps the "best friends forever" trend is something that needs patience and understanding in order to achieve. Patience in knowing when to back off and understanding that time apart — even for several months — is quite necessary. Patience also means realizing that it may not work out no matter how much you care for the people around you.