Blockbuster vacuousness to prevail this summer

Consider the 2000 summer movie season not in terms of what will be playing but what won't: namely, the second installment of "Star Wars."

The first of the trilogy sent waves through all of last year - the finest year of film since the 1970s. One big reason: no summer junk, or, at the very least, not much of it.

Big studios, fully aware of the "Star Wars" prowess at the box office, thought smaller and miracle of miracles, better. The second-highest grossing movie of 1999 was Disney's "The Sixth Sense," a certain box-office dwarf in other years. "The Blair Witch Project" topped $100 million on a peanut-sized budget. Julia Roberts crafted her own time zone with two summer flicks.

None of it is happening in 2000. The big, big movies are back, at least until 2001, when "Star Wars" arrives with Episode II. Expect a lot of war, a lot of outer space, even more crime and a tiny premium on quality drama. Even animated features want to appeal to a broader audience. It's time to see if Hollywood learned a lesson in its one-year hiatus from mindless entertainment.

Good news: It just might have. The blockbusters actually might have some - gasp! - polish to them. So let us begin. We're talking Lincoln here, so dates are tentative.

The big, big movies:

"Gladiator" (May 5) - The advance buzz guarantees two things: Ridley Scott's epic of Narcissus Meridas could run neck-and-neck with "Ben Hur" in terms of scale, and Russell Crowe, who plays Narcissus, will cement his status as a major movie icon.

The trailers and advance screenings all get high marks, as does Joaquin Phoenix, who plays rival Commodus. It's a gladiator story with all the classic Roman Empire trappings. Scott, director of "Alien" and "Blade Runner" has been down for a while. With "Gladiator" and the assignment to direct "The Silence of the Lambs" sequel "Hannibal," he's back.

"Mission: Impossible 2" (May 24) - Tom Cruise returns as whatever-the-hell-he-is Ethan Hunt, neither hero nor foe. Anthony Hopkins is his boss. The lady-in-waiting is Thandie Newton.

But the wild card is director John Woo, who will either make or break the series, based on how he films it. Woo's smart enough not to make another "Face/Off," right? "Chinatown" scribe Robert Towne wrote the screenplay (something to do with a deadly German virus), but buzz says it's no better than the first contrived story.

I still do not understand the trailer. Maybe that's Woo's point.

"Battlefield Earth" (May 26) - I am in the dark concerning L. Ron Hubbard's novel about an alien master race on Earth and a boy named Tyler, who fights back around the year 3000. John Travolta is the alien leader Terl, Barry Pepper, the marksman in "Saving Private Ryan," is the hero. An advance online reading of the script reveals a real clunker.

"The Patriot" (June 28) - The film is very loosely based on American Revolution hero Francis Marion, Mel Gibson takes on the British Army as Southerner Benjamin Martin, an over-the-hill soldier out for revenge against his son's killers. Make no mistake: This is a Western-style construct set amidst the trappings of the Revolutionary War. Think "Unforgiven" with musket powder.

Directed by "Independence Day" head Roland Emmerich, "The Patriot" is fighting to stay a PG-13 movie without toning down its considerable violence. The movie already has taken a politically correct, yet historically inaccurate stance, that Marion/Martin didn't own slaves, despite his Southern heritage.

"The Perfect Storm" (June 30) - We know this about the Andrea Gail: It was a fishing boat from Gloucester, Mass., that sailed into the worst storm in recorded history in the North Atlantic. The ship and crew (headed by George Clooney in the movie) were lost. The movie, based on the 1991 book by Sebastian Junger, is a fictional recreation of what that storm might have looked like.

Director Wolfgang Peterson made one of the finest water vessel films ever with "Das Boot" and "The Perfect Storm" promises to follow along those documentary lines - we will understand quite well just how a fisherman lives. Peterson touts the storm scenes as revolutionary.

It's a curious creation for a summer movie. The trailer has wisely hidden the inevitability of the mission. But after one week movie audiences will know: They all die. Can it work? The huge production budget hopes so.

"X-Men" (July 14) - "The Usual Suspects" meet the comics. "Suspects" director Bryan Singer and writer Christopher McQuarrie last teamed up for an critical success (idolized by anyone who doesn't realize that movie isn't about a damn thing).

Now they move to a whole different genre, with Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen up front, while Hugh Jackman gets the coveted role of Wolverine. The trailer stunk. Let's hope the movie's better.

Stylized crime:

"Gone in 60 Seconds" (June 7) - The film is a remake of the 1973 film with Nicolas Cage as the retired car thief extrordinaire, Angelina Jolie as his jilted girlfriend and Giovanni Ribisi as the kid brother in too deep. Dominic Sena, who made the largely unseen but jolting "Kalifornia" in 1993, finally has his second directing project.

Cage is a retired thief who must steal 100 cars to pay off his brother's debts. Expect car chases from start to finish and one moment for Jolie to pout her lips. Robert Duvall is the villain; Delroy Lindo is the cop.

"Shaft Returns" (June 16) - Samuel L. Jackson is a near-perfect choice for Shaft Jr. (the original Shaft has a role, too), a NYC cop, who has a worthy foe in Walter Williams (Christian Bale), a wealthy misogynist with a penchant for killing women.

Toni Collette plays the waitress who saw it all and then unexpectedly disappears. It's directed by John Singleton, who's made three so-so movies ("Poetic Justice," "Rosewood" and "Higher Learning") after his smash debut, "Boyz in the Hood." "Get Carter" (August 11) - Sylvester Stallone is back after a massive layoff in a Michael Caine gangster remake. Carter wants vengeance for his brother's death. Alan Cumming is a villainous Internet porn king. Caine's the rival hitman.

The Comedies:

"Road Trip" (May 19) - It will draw inevitable comparisons to "American Pie." It's funnier than that, but I didn't much like "Pie" to begin with. There's enough Tom Green to go around, but the best scene (or worst, depending on how you see it) comes in a sperm bank.

"Shanghai Noon" (May 26) - Jackie Chan in the Old West with Luke Wilson (co-writer of "Rushmore"). Apparently, it'll be a spoof on the few samurai Westerns ever produced.

"Big Momma's House" (June 2) - Martin Lawrence tries to cash in on Eddie Murphy's success with "The Nutty Professor" by dressing up as an old fat woman while on an FBI sting. Lawrence lives off sloppy seconds.

"Me, Myself and Irene" (June 23) - Jim Carrey plays a small-town cop with a split personality. I think that pretty much sums it up. Irene is Renée Zellweger.

"Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle" (June 30) - It hopes to achieve "Roger Rabbit" fame by combining art (moose, squirrel) and live action, as Robert DeNiro is Fearless Leader and Rene Russo is Natasha. These movies do not always work. Remember "Cool World?" I didn't think so.

"Nutty 2: The Klumps" (July 28) - Not sure it needed a sequel, but Eddie Murphy deserves at least another shot at the Academy Award nomination he should've got last time by playing nine characters. Sometimes, we forget how funny he can be.

Animation:

"Titan A.E." (June 16) - A very big space action movie to fill the void between "Star Wars" movies. Matt Damon is the hero voice. The trailer is nothing special.

"Dinosaur" (May 19) - Disney continues to look for the next "The Lion King." It'll have to keep searching after what looks like a visually stunning but flat tale about the big reptiles.

Other notables:

"All the Pretty Horses" (June 7) - Billy Bob Thronton directs a Mexican-style romance between a drifter (Matt Damon) and hacienda girl (Penelope Cruz). Remember Cruz's name; she's on the rise. After a twisted turn in "The Talented Mr. Ripley," Damon wants his matinee idol status back.

"The Golden Bowl" (June 23) - A Merchant/Ivory adaptation of the Henry James novel. Uma Thurman and Nick Nolte star. Should be an Oscar contender.

"Loser" (July 7) - Amy Heckerling delivered smart teen comedies for the 1980s ("Fast Times at Ridgemont High") and the 1990s ("Clueless"). Loser takes them to the freshman year of college. Jason Biggs and Mena Suvari star.

"Nurse Betty" (July 14) - Neil LuBute has stayed out of sight since 1998's "Your Friends and Neighbors," the best movie of that year. "Betty" is even bigger than his last, as Renée Zellweger obsesses over soap operas to the point she thinks she's in one. Morgan Freeman and Chris Rock co-star. The movie is in competition at the Cannes Film Festival this summer.

"The Legend of Bagger Vance" (August 4) - Robert Redford returns to direct a movie about a golfer (Damon again) and his caddie (Will Smith) in the 1930s.