Sequestered MDS testees earn quick cash

The wholly harebrained horror stories of the medical testing company MDS Pharma Services passed around at parties mostly among inebriated hairy-knuckle types are nasty. Ranging from toe amputations to literal heart-stopping procedures, these fictional accounts sound Frankenstein-ish, but anyone with half a brain shouldn't be unnerved by them.

Students looking to put a coat of black on the increasingly rich red numbers of a check register or credit card balance may want to seriously consider spending some time at nationally established MDS. In light of lighter pocketbooks, the mostly medication testing-based opportunities offered at our Lincoln location can make those microeconomic woes float away like red balloons on game day.

But how much moolah are we talking? It depends on the length of time spent in a study. Most studies involve three or four weekend-long stays, but they can be shorter or longer. The average compensation is a few thousand dollars, though some aren't as well-paying while others are more rewarding.

Kian Dempsey, who graduated from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln in 2006, is participating in anti-inflammatory medication research. For $5,000, the initial "four days stay at the actual compound and something to the effect of 14 or 15 returns back up until April or May" have been a satisfying experience, he said.

Although the good outweighs the bad for most, Dempsey said it's not for everyone.

"You're pretty much trapped in a rec center/church/prison, and there are some really long stays from two to three weeks," he said. "I imagine that cannot be any fun."

Among other possible stop signs for those applying for studies are an aversion to needles or getting blood drawn and concern about adverse effects from medications. One Dempsey's friends did not come away from her study with a positive feeling.

"My friend who was actually in a study going on next to ours was taking ADD medicine. She said her heart rate went from 60 to 130 in the span of 15 minutes, then she had to sit in front of a TV with a group of people," he said. "So she had to get hopped up on drugs, but she couldn't go anywhere or do anything about it because they had everyone locked in for an hour."

But if these problems never rear their ugly heads, the payoff can be huge, and the reward doesn't even have to be preceded by long stays for some very lucky individuals. Ian Kubik, a senior film studies major at UNL, said going to MDS was "probably the best idea I ever had."

"I signed up for a study last year in June. It started in March, and it was three weekends long. Three weekend stays: one in March, one in May and one in June," Kubik said. "After the first weekend stay, I got paid $1,700, and there was another $1,700 for each weekend thereafter - except they canceled the rest of the study, so I got paid $4,000 to do absolutely nothing."

All things considered, that anecdote might entice the most squeamish of people to give MDS some thought. After all, it can't hurt ... unless the idea is to impress some fellow pituitary cases.

michaeltodd@dailynebraskan.com